You become the best actress possible.
The Golden Globe.
All the awards go to you when you are forced to survive the death of your child.
A child’s last heartbeat triggers the deformation of their parents’ hearts.
To lose a child is to lose a piece of yourself forever. The realization that everything– from your morning cup of coffee to your marriage to every relationship and experience in your life– is forever changed seeps into the marrow of your bones and this realization forever changes you. Your heart, as it was before the death of your child, will never be seen again.
Your plans and promises.
Everything crashes down upon you until the weight of your pain is so great that you struggle to breathe. Your tears fall before you even open your eyes in the morning because you know the reality of your child’s passing will crash upon you over and over again as you stumble through your day… feeling lifeless, purposeless, and helpless. You’re afraid to be awake, just as much as you’re afraid to close your eyes.