GoodTherapy defines perfectionism as “the need to be or appear to be perfect, or even to believe that it’s possible to achieve perfection.” Medical News Today warns about socially prescribed perfectionism, which is when “individuals believe their social context is excessively demanding, that others judge them harshly, and that they must display perfection to secure approval.” Research links perfectionism to anxiety, depression, suicide (especially among college students), risk of bipolar disorder, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease and among other things, the death of marriages.
According to Dr. David Hawkins, Director of the Marriage Recover Center and author of over 30 books, “It is well understood that perfectionism is a primary killer of relationships. The perfectionist often expects more from others than they expect from themselves. At the very least perfectionists see faults in another, amplifies them, while minimizing their own weaknesses. This combination is lethal to a marriage.”
Another example of perfectionism’s deathly grip is an article entitled Perfection is destroying the mental health of my millennial generation, published two years ago this month, January 2018. The article hits the nail on the head on many different levels,