Chuck the Format & Tether Your Heartache: I Know You Suffer

This piece is for those who silently suffer. May you have the courage to expose the pain behind your smile.

Lower the emotional shield you created when life was too brutal for your heart and mind to fight. When we share the scars and lessons learned, we connect with others at the deepest of levels. To each and every one of you reading this, I want you to know that I know.

I know the silver spoon you were born with came at the cost of an absent parent. I know the family photo on the wall is a mask for the depression you feel. I know your divorce took more courage and strength to survive than it would’ve taken to stay in an unhealthy marriage. I know while others marvel at your new house and perfectly manicured lawn, you pray every day to live in a shack with dirt floors, if only your child who met the heavens too soon was given back to you. I know it’s not fair how you lost your loved one. I know thinking about certain twists in your life’s path makes it hard to breathe.

I know that you are withstanding more than you should be asked to bear.

This is a break from my pieces’ typical format because every now and then it’s important to chuck the format in the trash. Sometimes we need to take a risk and worry less about a piece being filled with statistics that make it objectively right and concentrate more on writing a piece that’s emotional and full of the kind of subjectivity that allows the reader to connect with it in their own way.

In a world that can move faster than hearts, I wanted to attempt to slow it down… if only for a moment. For every pair of eyes that graces this piece, I write this for you and I want you to know that I know…


The pressure.
To smile instead of cry. To stand instead of fall. To do instead of feel.
The pressure.

Be stronger than the walls caving in around you.
Be fearless when the storm calls.
Be undeniably determined to survive.

Count blessings.
Subtract ill-will.
Multiply love.

Cut the barbed wire encasing your heart… you’re the only one who feels it bleed.
Silence the demons whispering in your ear… you’re the only one they torture.
Demolish the walls barricading others from your truth… you’re the only one with the tools.

You are not done.
You have more mountains to climb.

You have more dreams to pursue.
You are not who you were.
You are not, yet, who you will be.

Survive the avalanche.
Withstand the pain.
Learn from the scars.

Through it all, dream.

Every avalanche ends.
Every eruption ceases.
Every chapter closes.

As long as you have breath, you have the opportunity to change your perspective… your direction… your life.

Deep breath in.
Deep breath out.
Head up.
Shoulders back.
Eyes open.
Heart and mind willing.

Today you evolve.
Today you decide to be more than a bench sitter in your own life.
Today cannot be retrieved, so live it best you can.

Refuse to be so emotionally unavailable that you sleepwalk through your own life, passing a million moments when your heartache could’ve been the tether to another person’s heart… offering you more to feel when your own heartbeat seems too faint to hear.

Author: Evelyn Lindell
Certified Health & Wellness Coach